Inspired by Glory

Six months ago, there was this little girl in Africa.  She was considered a toddler by age, yet she could not sit up alone.  She could not physically hold her head up.  She is an orphan (but only for a little while longer), and she has hydrocephalus.  There is fluid around her brain that is not absorbed/drained properly by her body.

She needs surgery. 

This little girl was thought to be without hope.  Many couples were informed of her plight, yet the thought of  a toddler who could not hold her head up, was not something they wanted to undertake. 

She's not just any little girl though!  She's going to be our little girl, and she can not only sit up on her own...but.....

She is STANDING!!!! Yes, we received an update this week, and in two different pictures, Miss Glory is standing!!!! No, she has not had her surgery yet, she's just amazing!



Yes, I do think she is pretty amazing, and I can just see her running around here being a ballerina with her sisters.  What an amazing spirit she has to be so self motivating, to be able to physically overcome her barriers as she is.  I can't wait to smooch on this baby girl!

Goat Fun Friday!

Make sure you watch to the end to see our goats in an epic body slam :)

News! Updates! A Special Pic!

Our adoption is going along as well as can be hoped for.  It's hard to believe that just over three weeks ago, I was told about this beautiful little girl in Africa.  We are currently wrapping up our home study update, and I have almost all of my dossier prepped and ready for the apostille seal.  Unfortunately, it cannot be completed until after we have our USCIS appointment, fingerprints, etc.  So, who knows how long that will take.

Please pray that it will be expedient.  My heart is aching to bring this little sweetheart home, hold her in my arms, and just be alert to her health. 

Glory has hydrocephalus.  Usually when babies are born with this "fluid on the brain"  they are whisked into surgery early on for a shunt that would redirect the fluid.  She hasn't had her surgery yet.....I'm so nervous for her to have it.  I know that there is a risk of infection or malfunction after the surgery, and I just feel like she needs her momma there to watch over her.

Thankfully, she has the best Protector watching over her.  He is better than I am. 

She is also diagnosed with global developmental delay, but let me tell you, she is a determined little peanut.  We were told that last October she couldn't sit up by herself........well.....

Just take a look at this little bit of awesomeness!

 

 

That's right!  Not only is she sitting up on her own, but she's pulling herself up into a standing position!!!! That is big, especially without having had the surgery she needs yet.  She's determined.  My heart melts. Look at that little person.  I can't wait to have her home.

 

I have set up a Facebook page (HERE) for updates, fundraising, etc.  Please go and join, get in on the know, and see another cute picture of our baby girl!

Dear Child in Government Housing

This is a letter to all of you young people living in government housing.  I want to write to you, I want to tell you how much you are worth.  I want to tell you a lot of things. 

There is a stigma about living in those apartments.  It is a giant advertisement that your family falls into certain poverty guidelines.  When the bus pulls up, everyone seems to know everything about you.

You know what?

That's okay. 

You see, it only matters that you hold your head high.  It only matters that you conduct yourself in a loving, honest, and peaceful way.  While many people will see your home, if your inner light shines, they will soon forget the outside.  That inside light truly blinds.

I write this to you as someone who has been there.  So I know.  I know what it is like to feel subconscious about telling someone your address.  I know what it is like to have a chaotic home life, a life that isolates, and makes you feel like you can never open up to anyone.  I know the feelings of shame.  But, you don't have to let it get you down.  You don't have to become a statistic.  You are worth more than your surroundings.

If I could go back to my fourteen year old self here is what I'd say:

Kisha, you are not a victim of circumstance.  Don't let people judge you by the life you have, beyond what you can control.  You be kind, even when they are not.  You believe that Jesus died for you, that you have a Heavenly Father.  Your own father may call you ugly names, he might tell you that your worth is little, but your Heavenly Father believes your price is far above rubies!  Don't try to escape your life with drugs and alcohol.  It isn't really an escape.  It's a trap.  You will lose yourself from one misery into another one, it will ruin your life, and cost you even more than you can imagine.  It will not show you love.  Choose love. Even if you get hurt.  Choose to the good fight.  Fight above the nay-sayers.  Fight above the circumstances.  Seek out help.  I promise you there is someone who wants to help you.  Seek Jesus, even if times are tough, know that in the end, this life is just a blink.  Your life will never be a fairy tale, and those families you see at church, the ones with the mom and dad very involved....those families have troubles also.  Your worth is not in your house, your clothes, your family, your hair, your skin, your job.  It's not in your body, nor how much of it you show.  Your worth is in your heart and soul.  Never ever compromise your spirit by the allure of escape and evil, it isn't worth it.

That is what I would go back and say to myself.   This is what I want to say to you.  I spent a lot of time thinking I needed to dress skimpy, because it was a way to draw attention.  I thought it was good attention, but let me tell you, it wasn't.  It was only a way to connect myself to evil desires.  It wasn't a way to build myself, but instead to ultimately cheapen myself. 

Sometimes there is a lot of hurt inside the walls of government housing.  However, I want you to know, there is hurt inside the walls of every home.  Everyone suffers, it is human nature, the sin self is not immune due to economic status.  You are not alone in your pain, everyone has pain, don't let it win over you. 

Please see yourself the way I see you.  Know that you are beautifully and wonderfully made in the eyes of God.  Don't let anyone ever tell you that it isn't true.  I promise you it is. 

Above all child, know that you do not have to be a statistic.  Your high school biology teacher might tell you that you regardless of your 4.0 GPA, you will never get into the college you have your eyes set on.  Your parent might tell you that you are worthless.  Your friend's parents might call you a bad influence, solely based on your residence and confused emotion driven behavior.

I got into that school.  I am worth something to God, my devoted husband, and my children.  I am not a bad influence.  I spend my life dedicated to advocating for orphans, for the needy, for the sick, to being a good mom and wife, and to showing just how amazing our God is. 

I have worth.....

YOU have worth and it does not revolve around your surroundings!

Can We Talk?

I'm sitting here in my house, modest by American standards, a mansion by many country standards.  I get to sip my coffee with a full belly, as I meditate on the information rolling around wildly in my head.  How can I grasp this concept?  How can we be so blind?

In Sub-Saharan Africa, there are 56 million orphans! That is shocking, but can I tell you what shocks me more?  That 27% of those poor children are orphaned by HIV. 

Out of the nearly 150 million orphans world wide, it is said that more orphans are in Ethiopia than any other country.

Are you kidding me?  A country roughly twice the size of Texas is home to FIVE MILLION orphans.  How can that be? 

These are just statistics though, numbers of shock value, but not numbers that our minds can really be wholly wrapped around.  It is just a nugget of truth to quickly tug at our heartstrings; before we go about our merry days filled with complaining, overindulgence, and overspending.  I do not write that to induce guilt, only to put into perspective how we can be so wrapped up in our own small lives, that we can be blinded to a major crisis worldwide.

There are a dozen countries in which a quarter of their children are orphaned.  That means an entire generation has been nearly wiped clean from existence.  I can't imagine what that means to the youth.  In America, we have social services, they step in when children are left unattended, uncared for, orphaned. 

In Africa, there are not enough resources.  There are not enough adults.

A two year old toddler could be living on a sidewalk, the roof of his childhood home is just a piece of tin and cardboard.  His filthy bed a conglomeration of rags and plastic bags.  When the rains come, he is told to lie down within the plastic bags, listening as his mother coughs violently from the tuberculosis that has ravaged her lungs.  Her body weak from the virus that has ripped away her health, knowing her little boy, her sweet baby will soon be alone.....Her heart cannot bare the ache that knows he will be wondering the streets aimlessly, possibly trampled by the livestock that invade the streets, or worse....picked up by the evil ones.  The ones that take children into the place to be used as sex slaves.  How can she save him, who can she turn to?

Can we talk about the fact that this is a very common scenario in Africa?  This little boy and his mother are but two of MILLIONS.  And I am angry.  I am angry that there is not global awareness really doing anything to help them.  I am angry that I live in a state that worships college basketball, that spends half a million dollars just to recruit basketball players.  People spark outrage against referees but turn a blind eye to the starving, the sick, the abandoned. 

A majority of Ethiopians live off of $2 a day.  Did you go out to dinner this month and spend more than $60 on just one meal?  I know I did.  Just 20% of them live off of $1 or less a day, and sometimes do not even get one meal. 

Obesity in American costs $147 BILLION per year.  I'm chunky myself, and I must admit, I'm saddened.  How can this country spend 147 billion dollars a year for something that is most definitely preventable, because if it weren't, all of the people of Africa would be "suffering" as well. 

So let's put that in perspective.  In Africa, approximately every 13 SECONDS, someone dies from AIDS.  In America, 90% of people with HIV can live their lives with the antiviral drugs they are routinely given.  Do you know how much it would cost to help those in Africa?  It is estimated that it would cost about $20 Billion per year to control the pandemic.

Wait...we spend $147 billion for obesity, but we could completely reform an entire country of dying, suffering, starving, with just $20 billion....

It gets worse.  The world's richest countries contribute less than $5 billion each year.  It is projected that our government wastes nearly $120 billion here.  This makes me outraged.  You have people rioting, standing in the streets, Al Sharpton yelling racial inequality....HELLO!

There is an entire country dying away.  They are dying from starvation, lack of clean water, HIV, malaria, TB, and so much more.  They are DYING.  I've seen some very famous celebrities jumping on the bandwagon, preaching against inequality, driving around in a $250,000 car.  A car.  A piece of extremely overpriced machinery used to get a person from point A to point B. 

I am angry that I see someone on television saying that they hate this country, they only see fat white people, and they feel more of a connection to their "home country" even though they weren't born there.  YET, that person creates music to brag about their possessions, their useless pieces of excess, while the people of their home country lay in the streets watching their babies cry in hunger, to weak to hold them, lost and forgotten.....

Can we just talk about all of this?

Can we stop talking about the Kardashians; the blue dress or whatever color it is; the funny cat that does so many tricks; the pop star who bared all in a daring move; the crap generated by the propaganda machine that is created to condition our brains to seek the senseless information and ignore the horror that is happening in our world.

Can we talk about the fact that economies are crumbling, people are being trafficked as sex slaves in alarming numbers, mothers are dying while holding their babies, teenagers are being turned out into the streets with no hope, no guidance, no education, and no one to care about them.  I am asked all of the time why we would want to adopt another child.  It's because I care.  We care.  I do not have any special magic powers that enables me to be some kind of super mom, I don't have some secret trust fund, I don't have anything but a caring heart and a supportive husband and a BIG God.

Can we just talk about something real?  Please....

Am I Sad?

Mother And Baby by Anna Langova

 

It has been over a week since I have permanently given up my fertility.  I truly never thought I would get to have babies, and yet I was able to carry three.  I have feelings about the procedure, about the decision, and about the future. 

 

My body will never again swell with life.  I will not watch as my belly jumps with the movements of an excitable little person making their presence known.  I will never again have the joy of that test declaring that a new soul has been created within my body.  There will be no more post birth nursing sessions cuddling a new life.  I will not watch my sweet tiny little baby drift off into a milk induced slumber while being cradled in my protection.

 

I do have feelings about that.

 

My feelings are not feelings of sadness though.  I have been mentally preparing for this time over the last 16 months.  John and I have waivered about the right decisions regarding our family's expansion.  When I had Zeke, I suffered a rupture.  It wasn't a severe rupture, so I "could" still have another baby.  Although every doctor out there would want to deliver that baby prematurely, if we survived the pregnancy long enough. 

 

No, I know this to be the best decision for us.

 

I have feelings of nostalgia.  My mind can grasp that even though those moments of pregnancy and newborn preciousness are amazingly magical, they are fleeting.  The last three years, I have been pregnant twice.  I cannot really even remember the moments.  I have the warm memories that I can recall with that glow of joy, but I cannot feel and re live anything.  It just goes by so fast.  So, even though I loved those moments, I am not grieved by the inability to recreate them again.  

 

I am thankful for what they were and that I was able to have such blessings.

 

My heart does not yearn for that downy head and sweet baby toes.  I can't even believe I can write that with an honest heart.  It is true though.  My heart yearns to hold this beautiful little girl across the world.  I dream of nestling her in my lap, kissing her cheeks, and holding her hand in mine.  There is an ache in my heart that I didn't even know I had, and amazingly, it isn't for a tiny little newborn.  I look forward to looking into her eyes, to her realizing that she has a momma who loves her, and that I am that person. 

 

No, I am not sad.  I am aware of how time is quickly passing, and how precious those sweet cuddles from my curly haired little 16 month old toddler truly are.  He runs up to me multiple times a day, reaching up with his little chubby hands, grunting with desire.  He desires for me to pick him up, he shoves his head with that mullet of curls into the crook of my neck, and completely relaxes his body.  Content he is, content to soak up all of this mommy's love.

 

I am not sad, I am full of a new purpose.  My husband being a saved man now,  has completely changed our household.  He shares my burden for the orphan.  We look forward to raising the kids we have, bringing Glory home, and who knows what else.  I may hold another baby one day, or a ten year old, it is in God's hands for what He calls us to do.   

 

In the mean time I will soak up all of the "I love you mommy's" that come from those almond shaped eyes, the hugs from little people with dirty hands, and the 2.5 million dandelions given from such joyful little souls.  The newborn having season may be over, but a new season is before us.  It brings forth blooms of blessings to be collected and joyfully cherished for their beauty. 

One For Us!

Sometimes God speaks very clearly.  We felt like we should keep ourselves open to adopting two children, however, we came across our girl first.  In her country, you can only adopt two children if they are siblings or in the same orphanage.  So we told the agency we would be open to adopting another child with special needs from the same orphanage as Glory (that's what we're naming her, but we will be keeping her African name as well). 

 

It took a little time to get everything sorted, but we found out today that there are no children within our parameters at the same orphanage.  That is a good thing! It means God is calling us to only adopt one child this time, and hey 3 girls and 3 boys in the house....that's pretty awesome. 

 

It also means that there are people out there adopting kids with special needs! Big whoop whoop here! We were open to pretty severe special needs as well, so this means that the kids who used to be overlooked are now being given a home and valued!   It really is pretty fantastic news. 

 

So while we could finish our dossier, and then wait for a second referral, we have decided to proceed and adopt only Glory.  We do not want her to have to wait at the orphanage any longer than she has to.  It is a blessing to be able to adopt her and have her join our family.  I am one happy Momma!.