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Donald Trump and Joe Dirt

You might be wondering what Joe Dirt and Donald Trump have in common, well, I'm not sure...however Zeke has been channeling them both through his hair lately. 



I know those curls are absolutely adorable! Stunning! Gorgeous baby curls...only they were about three inches longer than the rest of his hair.  I could totally go with that, mostly his hair hadn't grown on top of his head...

Oh yes, party in the back business in the front, straight mullet it was.

But then.



No, seriously, he began to sprout hair from the front that could rival Donald Trump.  But still no hair really in the middle at the crown?



And it stood straight up. Just up. So party in the back, toupe in the front. It was a hot mess, I caved to John's request, I gave Zeke his first hair cut.



He did so well.  So well in fact that I had to convince Grace that she did not want a buzz cut.



He was so still and patient, so unlike his big brother who has a cow every hair cut. Away the curls went, we said good-bye to the outrageous comb "up and over."



In it's place a new style. My baby growing up. 



First hair cuts are always so hard.

The Rains Came Down

It's been a couple of weeks since our land flooded worse than I have ever seen before. 

 

We have lived at this home for over four years, we have never seen weather like this, nor flooding like this.  Sadly, we weren't prepared for such, and we were given a hard lesson in homestead life. 

 

 

The rains came so fast on top of the weeks of rain we already had.  We woke up early that morning, and when I looked outside, I saw just how high the waters were.  John rushed out in his jammies to discover that our male baby goat was missing.  :( He walked all through knee high water, but the goat was no where to be found.  The other goats faired better, but our barn had been flooded, so we had to release them into the garden that was fenced off. 

 

My favorite goat, our only lamancha, was sick though.  We tried to save her, but she died the following day.  When the water went down, we also discovered her baby had drowned.

 

 

Poor Lily, she lost her mom and her brother.  She mourned, I mourned, we all were heartbroken.  It was apparent that our goat barn was in a bad place, but we do not have the time or finances to just build a new one right now.  We decided to try to find a larger farm for them to go to, and thankfully, we were able to send the remaining four to the same farm. 

 

 

We had to say goodbye.  It was the best that we could do given the busy-ness of our adoption on top of all that we have going on right now.  It wouldn't have been fair to let the rest chance bad weather or their health declining.  We researched goats extensively, and we thought we had done everything right before we purchased them, but we had never seen weather like we've had this past year.  It was a hard decision, I rejoiced with these babies, and I loved these gals.  Goats have the greatest personalities, and our goats were so affectionate, Sierra was the smartest farm animal I had ever seen.  I can't believe she died.  I held her head in my lap, she couldn't stand, she just nuzzled me and bleated pitifully.  They will be missed greatly, it's been a week, and I still find myself looking out the window to see what the goats are up to, even though they are gone.

 

You can't really prepare for the impact of life's storms.  It is possible to prepare for the grief that they can bring by securing a good foundation in God, lean on Him in times of good and in times of bad.  The loss of our goats hit us emotionally and financially, we never could have guessed that the storms would get that bad, but when they did, I'm so thankful that we were able to handle it with a calm strength and reassurance from God.

 

 

 

I'm 16!

"I'm 16!" She shouts at the breakfast table.

"Your not 16, you are three."

She bursts into a fit of giggles and a sprig of pain pierces my heart.

This thing has happened over the last few years.  I have noticed that every time I blink, another year has passed.  Although yesterday, my whole being had prayed for bed time to come quickly. 

"The days are long, but the years are fast."

There are many mothering days that make me want to hide in a closet and take a nap.  There are days where I look around and see the chaos of this tantrum crazed three year old, and I can't imagine how we could possibly all get out alive.  So much disorganized passion trapped in such a tiny body.  It can't me rationalized with, it's on the edge of an emotional cliff, and it's taking us all over the ledge.

I need to remind myself while watching the flailing, that I'm going to blink my eyes, and this little ball of fire will in fact be sixteen years old.  There won't be any fights about eating her eggs.  She won't ask me for 24 extra hugs and kisses at bed time.  She won't run to me, climb into my lap, and find refuge from the latest boo boo.

Today little one.....you are not sixteen.  Today you are three, let's enjoy it together.

I'm Coming Because

We received the final piece of our dossier on Friday.  This last piece of paper will allow me to mail our paperwork, and officially put us waiting for travel.  I don't know how long that will take.  I feel like it has taken forever. 

When I was in elementary school, we learned about people in Ethiopia for social studies class.  I remember being so taken with the poverty and the smiles on the faces of those in the pictures.  There were statistics about orphans and life in this country that had taken by heart.  I told everyone that I would adopt a whole house full of African orphans one day.  I was naïve of course, but I was also connected. 

The love affair didn't stop. 

I have read history books, books on the different cultures, missionary accounts, blogs, and anything else I could about the people of a continent with which I've never been to.  So many countries together suffering, but so much flourishing in other countries on the same continent, so much joy in the midst of sorrow.  What keeps them smiling and kind?  I still don't know.

Life didn't exactly take us to Liberia as we had planned 8 years ago.  The country closed.  Our path was directed a different way, Ukraine was to be our destiny.  I have a deep appreciation for Ukrainians.  The culture is one not easily understood by westerners.  I'm blessed to have two children from their country as well as my experiences there.

I assumed that once we adopted Anna and Tanner, we'd never adopt from Africa.  I thought my dream was over, but that didn't keep me from praying and reading and hoping to one day be involved in a mission trip or something.  I just felt so connected.  It's truly unexplainable how I felt my heart in a place so far away. 

I know why the connection now.

It's her.

I see her and she is my daughter.  She is my shared daughter, for I will always share her with her birth mother, even though her birth mother has long since disappeared.  I am connected to her.  In my mind I can't fathom that any potential adoptive parents could have seen her and passed her over.  Yes, she has special needs.  Yes, her brain has a looming question mark hanging over it.  Yes, her future is unclear in many regards. 

When I open my emails on Friday afternoons, I open them to see this tiny girl described as having brain atrophy, a large head circumference, delays, and a brain hemorrhage. 

She is absolutely perfect. 

I want to be able to reach out to her and say I am coming soon.

I have always been coming.

Uniquely Designed

I am an oddball. 

It's true, I am and always have been, just outside of the "normal" realm of society.  I know, I know, you are having a difficult time fathoming this.  I think growing up the way that I did made me feel like an outsider, I always wanted to be part of the kids who seemed to have the perfect family.

I didn't realize in my youth that there are no perfect families.

It was given a blessing though.  My experiences growing up gave me a different lense with which to observe the world.  Watching the sorrow my mother experienced living with a man incapable of managing his anger and addiction, has given me a very tender heart and a great wealth of empathy from which to draw.  Had you asked me in my teen and early twenty years if I would ever be grateful for the difficult times, the weirdness of "me,"  I would have said emphatically.....

"NO!"

As I have grown, I have been able to embrace my path, and to really feel comfortable in my own shoes.  I no longer feel a need to be a certain way for the world to see, I can just be me and be okay with it.

Now, people see me and draw so many conclusions.  I was at the top of my class in college, and tested at the top of the nations entering teachers, but I quit before student teaching.  I was 16 hours, one semester away.  For most people, this is completely absurd, a waste, something to not even be considered comprehensible.  That's okay.  I think it was one of the best decisions I have ever made.  Whew, am I thankful that my husband supported me on that one. Not everyone felt so supportive and understanding.  It wasn't normal, it was crazy, how could I do such a thing.

When I got off the bus towards a life I didn't really want, I jumped on the express to a new life.  One that would take me closer to my creator, one that would repair my marriage and strengthen it to the amazing-ness that it is now.  I began to follow a passion that I never could have dreamed for myself, and feel like in a very small way, I have made the world a little better. 

I love being a homeschooling, stay-at-home mom.  I love it.  Most people are lamenting towards the first week of August, hoping that their little people hurry off to school, and that's cool.....no, judgement here, I often wish there were days off like that to.  However, for the most part, I love learning and teaching.  There is a lot of content out there that I was never exposed to in 16 years of formal education, so many interesting things, and now we get to dive all in.

One of the best things I learned in college was that you can learn anything.  Aside from biblical information, I believe this is one of the greatest things a person can know.  You can learn anything.  I love it!  Before going into and education major, I tried psychology, nursing (wanted and still do some day to be a midwife), business, social work, and communications.  I love to learn, I should have just bought and read the textbooks though, saved the money.  So, if it makes me a nerd to be a fan of always learning something new, so be it. 

I have created mini nerdlets as well....look out world, oddballs coming your way! 

I hope they embrace their nerdly intellect, I hope they stand strong in their love for God, and in the unique way that they approach life. 

My life revolves around being a wife, mom, and homemaker.  Whoa! Does that draw scrutiny or what? The job of a homemaker has often been mocked, a movement was created to diminish the importance of homemaking, and it was wildly successful.  Women rushed off in search of meaning, of purpose, of something more than just cooking and cleaning.

I'm about to tell you something that really makes me an oddball.

I LOVE being a homemaker.  No, I'm not overly organized, my house is not exactly "eat off the floor clean,"  but it is a home that is lived in.  I love to create meal lists that will nourish my family, that stay in budget, and cook meals that will grow little people into strong adults.  I love learning about herbs and how they can benefit our family.  Cloth diapering little ones was such an out there idea nine years ago, but I've learned how to be a cloth diapering mama yoda.  I've learned how to clean with less chemicals, how to milk a goat, how to make my own soap, how to knit, how to sew, how to crochet, how to garden, etc...etc...etc...

Everything I do in my home from knitting someone a sweater to wiping a butt is a way to serve my God, and that is how I embrace my differences.  I know that I'm different from the mainstream.  I know that my family is different.  However, I also know that I am doing what I was called to do, and that being like everyone else is boring anyway.  There are magazines and websites out there making millions of dollars telling women how all be the same.  They tell you how to manage yourself, how to be in style, how to talk, what to read, etc. 

I'm just not one of the following.  Sometimes it's a lonely place, but only for a brief few seconds when all five of my children are sound asleep and my husband is at work.  I think a lonely place of difference where the Lord can instruct and grow in my person is a benefit.  Instead of worrying about fitting in and measuring up to what man deems worthy, I can focus on something that really matters.  I can focus on my eternity.

This life only lasts so long, why spend it trying to fit into someone else's mold?

Random Life Thoughts

When I was in high school, I took this class called Life Skills.  Essentially it was a rebranded home economics class.  My fondest memory of this class was the sewing lessons, I will be honest, I didn't exactly take this class seriously.  It was obvious by my sewing project, a pair of pajama pants, pants that had gone terribly, horribly, wrong.  They were the most comical pair of pants, one leg quite shorter than the other, the seams not even completely sewn, the hem all jacked up.  It was awful.  I deemed myself domestically incapable, but then again, I never imagined being a stay at home, homeschooling, mom to many kids. 



The class was taught by a woman I know respect quite a lot, and I wish I had learned all that I could from her.  I was unaware that as an adult, it would be necessary to know how to cook well, to plan meals if I wanted to stay on budget and be healthy, to be able to repair things, and to manage a house hold. 

You see.  There is a problem today, a new generation of adults have not learned to manage money.  They have not learned to write out and budget, to write a check properly, to balance their accounts, to buy a home, and to stay out of debt if at all possible.  These pitfalls have created a new kind of stress and tension, money can destroy, and it is destroying an entire group of people.

The class also taught cooking.  Now, I am quite the cook if I do say so myself.  I love to cook, I love to research all things healthful, and I love to feed people.  It wasn't always the case for me though.  I wasn't prepared to have five kids who....get this....need to be fed regularly.

I know!

Seriously, they have to eat, and they have to eat constantly.  If I'm not feeling well, the kids still have to eat, if we are rushed for time, they still need food, no matter what, they have to be fed.  As an added bonus, I try to feed them a healthy diet, and well, that takes a bit more effort....i.e. (ALOT more effort)....oh and one of my kids is celiac and one is dairy intolerant.....



The class also included handicrafts.  As a Charlotte Mason lover, I now see why this should have been taken more seriously.  You know, women today are estimated to need anti depressants much much more than women of the past.  However, it could be said that women of the past worked much harder than women of today.  I mean everything done by hand, sun up to sun down, no modern day conveniences....yet they were more happy and content.

Why?

I think I know.  Being able to take a piece of cloth, and with your hands, create something useable, something beautiful, something with purpose....it's cathartic.  Taking yarn and knitting a sweater takes countless hours, hours to sit and pray, hours to quiet ones soul, and in those hours something magical happens.  A garment is created, those hours of quiet working, make something beautiful to wrap one's babies up in, or protects ones hands from the elements. 

I wish I had taken that kind of teaching to heart in high school, I would have been far above in my skills than I am now.  I love being able to create something for my child to wear, or something to protect my husband (who works so hard for his family) from winter weather.  I love the time it takes, the gratification of my hands making something with purpose, and the quiet patience that it requires.

We live in a plugged in world, never quiet, never patient.  With all of that, I feel as though we've lost so many life skills, skills necessary to survive should anyone ever pull the plug.

I wish I'd paid more attention in school to the class that no one took seriously, for it offered something of great value above career knowledge.  We need life knowledge, and it would have been great to have a little of it the easy way, rather than the way we seem to all gain it. 

Chick Chick Chick

This year, we planned to fence off more of our land in order to have meat chickens.  With the news of our poultry being shipped to China for processing and then sent back to the U.S., we thought it prudent to try to raise the majority of our poultry ourselves.  We currently have 23 hens laying eggs, but they are about a year from being to old, and.......

 (caution: do not keep reading if you have a sensitivity to farm life!!!!!)

Well, our old hens are about ready for the freezer, and I have ordered 22 new hens.  We've been raising laying hens for four years now, and thankfully we've been quite successful.  This will be the first time raising Cornish Rock birds, apparently they mature in about 12 weeks, and are really good for meat. 

This is going to be awful hard though, these little chicks are absolutely adorable! 

After this order I feel very confident to review the hatchery we have ordered from three times.  I am not receiving anything from them, they probably do not even know I'm reviewing them, but our chicks have all been shipped well and have been in impeccable health.

Chicks in the mail?

I know!  It's a funny thought to imagine getting chickens in the mail.

We order our chicks from Murray McMurray Hatchery.  I'm sure there are local people to buy from, but when we moved here, we didn't know all of these wonderful local people.  Now, it's just my thing to go bird shopping online =)

We ended up with forty birds, they threw in two for free!  Last time we got a free bird, it was quite hilarious looking, it had a wild Mohawk.  Sadly, it was one of only four chickens we've ever lost, it choked to death on a corn cob.  Those fluffy, cute yellow ones are our easter eggers, they are supposed to lay a beautiful array of colored eggs.  We shall see how they do, I also have a handful of Rhode Island Reds in there as well.  Our RIR's have always been the best at laying, weathering the temps, and overall health. 

This is the first year that Zeke has been part of the baby chick arrivals.  He is a fan, he calls them dogs though.  Grace has spent a majority of her time telling them not to grow up and lay eggs, stay small and be cute. 

I hate to break it to her, but they turn into ugly teenager birds in just a few weeks....and then some of them will be dinner.  We have been trying to build a more self reliant existence for over four years, the eating of our animals is the hardest, but I will tell you that our kids truly value life.  In a world where people are shooting up malls, and it is nothing to bully people into suicide, our kids have learned the precious fragility and beauty of life and purpose in living.  We respect all living things, care for our animals well, and although they serve the purpose to nourish our family, we teach that you waste nothing...........ugh, even if it's making broth from big ugly chicken feet.....

General Adoption Process and Appointments!

      For some people the adoption process is a bit (or a lot) confusing.  If you are going through it, there are a lot of hoops to jump through, and if you are observing someone go through it, you will think they are speaking a different language.  There is a general pattern to things, although different countries have different processes.  I'm going to attempt to give a general breakdown of our process in order to help ya'll see where we are.

1.Apply for and receive a home study.
            
     All adoptions, whether domestic or international, must have a home study.  This is a process by a social worker/agency to investigate the potential adoptive parents and deem them fit to adopt.  This process involves background checks, financial checks, reference checks, doctor appointments for the whole family, and a home inspection.  There must be copies of birth certificates for each member of the family, reference letters written, letters from employers, lots of forms by the parents, and interviews between the social worker and the family. 

2. Decide on a country and agency.
      
     If one did not already have a country in mind, and the adoption agency isn't doing the home study, this is the time to find one.  The home study will need to include specific information for different countries, so deciding on a country will help to not need it updated.  The initial application to an agency is fairly standard, and once accepted and a country decided upon, the contracts will be completed.  These will detail the agency's fees, what they are used for, their liability, the process, the country's process, the commitment of the adoptive parents to complete necessary regulations for adoption, and an agreement for post adoption follow up.  Most of these will need to be notarized.

3. Compile Dossier
     In order to adopt from a foreign country, the adoptive parents must compile a dossier to send to the government in the country they are attempting to adopt from.  This is the "paper baby" that you may have heard about.  Our adoption had 21 papers that needed to be completed and notarized.  These were certified copies of birth certificates for the entire family (hello money), notarized copies of our passports (if you don't have a passport, apply for it while working on your home study), letters from employers, letters from the realtor about the home value, a detailed workup of the finances, reference letters, letters from the doctor (and a detailed physical), letters to the country of intent, contracts, and whatever else the country requires.  For our Ukraine adoption, we had to have our house appraised since our county didn't have an office to provide the form needed.  This is usually a tedious but necessary process.  Once all of the papers are compiled, they must be authenticated according to the country.  Our state requires that all papers be authenticated at the county level and then at the state level.  I didn't have the same notary from the same counties for all papers, so I drove all day to different counties for the county level certificates. 

4. Apply to USCIS
     Immigration must approve the adoption, this requires fingerprinting and application.  Once the home study is approved and complete, it should be sent along with the application and fee to the immigration office.  They will schedule an appointment for biometric fingerprinting.  This appointment is the "big" one, once it is complete, they will send approval for adoption of an orphan.  This is the last piece of the dossier.

5. Referrals
    
      In our case we identified the child we wanted to adopt before even beginning the adoption.  We did the same with the adoption of Anna and Tanner.  So, once our home study was complete, we were able to formally accept the referral for Glory.  This allowed us to see her complete file with medical records, although currently hers are incorrect due to a change in diagnosis.  Some countries will do a referral after the dossier is received, for Anna and Tanner, we had to wait until we were in country in order to get the official referral.  If the child has not been identified, the country will review the dossier, and the desires of the potential adoptive parents.  They will then match the family to a child.  This can take some time, and this is often why there are such long waits listed for different countries.  The more selective a family is, the longer the wait will be.

6.  Dossier Submission
    
     Once approved by immigration, the adoptive parents will submit their dossier.  The agency will translate it, and then they will submit it to the government in the child's country.  This process can be a bit lengthy, or in our case with the first adoption, within a month's time.  Some countries will also require the adoptive parents to submit other forms and letters of intent, this is a very country specific process.

7. Wait
     Yes, this is the waiting process of waiting, waiting, and waiting some more.  Some parents will be waiting for an official referral, and in our case, we will be waiting for travel dates.  Once our dossier and PAIR letter are sent to country, it is all submitted, we will be waiting for our travel dates to go meet her. 

8. Travel to Country
     When given the date to travel, the parents will often arrive and either meet with the government or the orphanage.  Our country this time requires two trips, so the first one, we will get to meet Glory.  John will be travelling on the second trip by himself.  With A&T, we met with the facilitator, then accepted their referral, and then we traveled to their region.  We were able to meet them, talk with the orphanage, and proceed through the in country paper chase and court.  We spent a little over a week in their region visiting them each day after the first week we had spent in Kiev.  We then travelled home, the courts took ten days okay the adoption, we went back to country for a few weeks in order to get the kids, get their passports, go to visa appointments, catch scarlet fever ;) and finally bring them home.

9. Wait
     Some countries require one short trip, some require lengthy stays, and some will have the parents to come back.  John will have to go back to get Glory.  So we will come home and wait.  The process and wait is fairly standard in Ukraine, but for some countries the wait can be months.....I know....how am I going to meet my baby girl knowing her medical needs, and then leave her for who knows how long?!

10.  Bringing the child home.
     In country to bring the child home, the parents meet with immigration to secure a visa.  This usually entails a medical physical by immigration.  Our appointment for Anna and Tanner was quite interesting, they had scarlet fever, they had the rash that goes with it, and so we were sent to a hospital in order to make sure they didn't have some crazy awful contagious disease.  It rained so hard, in a span of 10 minutes sitting in traffic,  that I was certain our car would be carried away in a flood.  Eventually we were able to secure visas and paperwork, and get on a plane to the states.  Once arriving on American soil, the paper work must be handed over to immigration officers at the airport.  This will give the child a certificate of citizenship, it will be mailed to the adoptive parents.

11.  Post adoption visits.
        
     This is a big part of the adoption completion.  Some countries will require the parents to re-adopt the child in the U.S.  We will do this for Glory.  The child will also have follow up by the social worker from the home study.  Different states and countries have different requirements for this one.  DO THESE VISITS!  I need to impress this fact upon all readers who may adopt, do not skip out on these.  The country seeing that parents are caring for the child is important, the post adoption information is why adoption get to continue.  If they are not done, it is very possible that a country would shut it's doors to adoptions by citizens of our country. 


This is again, a very general outline of the process for international adoption.  We just received our USCIS appointment for next week!  We have accepted Glory's referral, and our dossier will be state certified next week as well.  Once we receive our immigration approval (hopefully mid July), we will send our dossier off! I don't know how long it's going to take in order to translate it and get travel dates, but as it stands, it feels like and eternity.  I don't think we will get such luck like we did with A&T, their whole adoption process from start to finish (although we already had a home study) took less than six months.

Listen Up Christians

      There are a lot of articles circulating the web these days about people leaving the Christian faith in America.  I am left asking myself, are these written by people hoping to persuade others from joining?  Perhaps.  However, I believe there is something worse happening.
     
I believe there are to many pseudo Christians, to many churches failing on two accounts. 

    On one hand you have "feel good" Christianity.  You know these kinds of people.  They go to a building to hear about how much God is going to bless them with only good things, all things are permissible as long as they do not harm others, there is no hell.  As long as you mind your own business, give us money, and feel good about yourself, all is well in the world. 
   
    This kind of church is insincere.  It isn't based on the word, and it lacks a necessary strength, it is basically a feel good social club to hell.  This is the kind of church that doesn't really care about saving souls, and helping new Christians build a foundation in Christ that will sustain them through the hard times.  This church cares about popularity and people choosing them.  How can this church really reach out to a world that is falling away and suffering?

     The other side of the coin, the church of self-righteousness.  My goodness this is a major problem for Christianity.  You know this place and these people.  This church shuts out the sinners and hides their children away from anyone they deem unworthy of the gospel. 

     If you are part of this church, you need to know that people hate you.  They see you as a hypocrite, you make them feel dirty and unworthy, and you are leaving a legacy of prejudice and hate with your children.  You turn the most people away from Christ, and sometimes for life.  The people of this kind of church distance themselves so far from sinners, they begin to excuse their own sin, and are blind to Christ's true teachings.  They say they do not want to be around the foul mouth drug addict, because "those" people are going to hell.

YES!

    They are going to hell if no one reaches out to them, if no one is genuine, if no one can see past the exterior to a soul that is beloved by our Creator.

    Listen up Christians, we need a reformation.  You don't have to be permissible about sin in order to be a light to the sinner.  Jesus didn't stand for the defiling of the synagogues, but he still died for the defilers. 

    I can say that I don't agree with your lifestyle.  It's not right to smoke crack all day and have sex with a bunch of different men at night.  BUT that doesn't make you any less loveable by God, and I have no place to make you feel like I'm worthy of salvation but you are not. 

   We are all sinner and equal in sin. 

  We can teach out children morals, and that stealing, lying, cheating is wrong.  We do not have to accept the immoral in order to show people Christ's love.  We have to build our children with a strong foundation, and show them how to have the same love and compassion as Jesus. 

   Idly standing by and watching the world crumble morally while you "mind your own business" is not the salt you, Christian, were called to be.

   Hiding away from the falling world and shaming everyone from your self righteous platform is not the being the light to the world.  They don't see your morally awesome life, because they are to busy looking at your dark judge filled soul.

   Live a moral, Bible following life.  Live it as a loving light and an example IN the world.  Don't agree with everyone for peace's sake, but don't pass on judgment from a "better than thou" spirit either. 

  A whore washed Jesus' feet.  I think if Jesus could mingle with whores, tell them their sins, and die for them....you can be a true Christian amongst them as well. 

   Don't be afraid to look past the foul language, drugged out gaze, worn clothing, and love the marred soul. 

   They need you.

   Your children, all children, need to see you caring for those who are lost.  To know that their sins will never be more than God can forgive, and that there is a path to righteousness. 

   If we don't reform, Christians, if we don't live amongst the loss and help them find redemption, who will?  And how will we answer for ourselves in Heaven?

Heart of an almost adoptive parent.

Photo Credit

 

 

It is a strange thing to be an almost parent to a child.  When you are in the adoption process, you fall in love with a child you have never met.  Even those who have not identified a child, fall in love with the child who is out there, and then a strange thing happens.  You become a parent...but not. 

 

I wrote this yesterday:

 

 

As I am sitting I am feeling and thinking deep thoughts.  Somewhere out there, my little girl is being put to bed.  She is being guided to the tiny little cot lined side by side to those of other children.  Her head is swollen and distinctly different from the children around her.  The pressure of the fluid and swelling from her hematoma are constantly jumbling her thoughts and cognition, slowly stealing tiny pieces of her brain, precious cells that contribute to her personality.  It must be so confusing to be put to bed in confusion.  She doesn't talk, she can't yet walk, but she is alive and full of light.  Does anyone see her light?

 

Who is putting her to bed?

 

Are they snuggling her as they change her diaper, does she get smothered in kisses and prayed over?

 

Is she hungry?

 

Does she hurt?

 

My heart is aching, a piece of it is across the world.  Perhaps another woman's heart is also aching.  Does she wonder the same things as I do?  Are we two women belonging to the same little heart?

 

I feel as though time cannot pass quickly enough for me to finally get to hold my girl.  I am in agony willing the seconds to pass by quickly, but also fighting for them to stay still just a moment longer.

 

I am fighting the clock to savor as much time as I can.  My babies HERE are growing before my eyes...to fast.  How can I ache to see her, to hold her, but also feel the pains of the clock racing at lightening speed, when I stare into the eyes of my three year old.

 

Wasn't she just a baby cradled in a milk slumber within my arms?  My mind can't call an image of that to my thoughts as quickly anymore.  Life has taken over and the moments have been whisked away from my easily retrieved memories.  Life has taken up each minute of the day with the never ending task of mothering.

 

I don't want it to end.

 

Will it be like this when Glory is here?  Will I remember to stop and soak in the joy of the chaos and stress that comes with mothering?

 

Mothering is a verb.  It is the constant act of loving a child, physically, mentally, and emotionally. 

 

She has two mothers, but neither is tucking her into her little bed tonight.  I cannot wait to hold her tiny hand in mine, and watch her drift off to sleep.  Finally being mothered to the fullest action of the verb.  I cannot wait for her to feel loved. 

 

Adoption is tough.  My heart is most definitely in two different places.  While I cannot hold her yet, I can hold these little ones a little longer, and pray that they all feel mothered.

Considering Adoption?

I have been hesitant to write this blog post, however after our last adoption, and with the current one, I feel like I have some advice worth reading.  The weight of adoption fees can be very overwhelming, and at times they can induce a panic when trying to absorb such a massive number.  International adoption is very expensive.  There are a lot of people involved in making sure that an ethical adoption happens, and those people must make a living from their employment that is part of making those ethical adoptions a possibility.  Hence the very high fees. 

So, what does one do about those fees?  I read daily, the pleas of those worrying about making their next agency payments, or flights, and hoping that a donor will come through.  Hey, I totally get it.  Most people, myself included, do NOT have $30,000 just laying around.  It's just a reality, and while the ever popular "adopt from foster care" may be the answer for some hoping to adopt, it isn't for everyone.  Did you know that every state has a cap on the amount of children they will allow you to foster/adopt.  That's right, my state says that five kids is enough.  Glory will be our 6th child, because there are countries out there that understand that a child living in a larger family, having a family support system, and feeling loved, is better than living as an orphan forever.

If foster/adopt isn't possible or your desire, and you aren't a gazillionaire, what do you do if you want to adopt?  What do you do if raising the money is also seemingly impossible?  Well, for those planning an adoption in a year or two, I do have a few tips.

I'm going to be honest.  I felt really unsupported and let down with our fundraising efforts when we adopted Anna and Tanner.  In my mind, and a lot of others, I thought we were going to go into the adoption, everyone would know how great it was, and so many people would want to jump in and support us.  I saw families who were fully funded with their adoptions, I saw the grants out there, and even though I worked hard and applied for them, we ended up with nothing. 

What did we do? 

My husband picked up extra work for four months straight, we cut out all extras, and we saved.  We used an adoption credit card for the airfare, and had a plan in place to pay it off within the 0% interest grace period. 

Make a plan

My best advice for those desiring to adopt, is to make a plan.  Write down every thing that you will need to do in order to adopt, write down all estimated fees.  Write down when you want to pursue the adoption, and then write out a very detailed budget. 

Get out of debt

This may seem absurd to some, but seriously, if your adoption is a year or two off, try to scale down your debt.  John and I worked hard to make sure that our only debt was our mortgage.  Our vehicles are nearly a decade or more old, but we chose ones that would be good for the long haul, and they are all paid off.  If you have no debt, then when you decide to adopt, it won't be such a burden to have an adoption loan.  We were able to apply for a loan to cover a big portion of our adoption.  I hate debt, really I do, but financially, we were able to do it, and with it being the only debt we have aside from our home, it's doable. 

Follow your plan

This one is very difficult.  I wanted to jump right in over the last four years and adopt again right away.  However, we knew that we didn't have a lot of luck with fundraising last time, and that it would be foolish for us to set ourselves up for financial strain.  If God calls you to do it, He will provide a plan, I'm certain of it.  I feel like our patience and trying to follow the plan as best as we could, has been so helpful.  What good does it do you, the child you are adopting, and your family if you don't have a plan? If you  have to dive into financial instability, and then have that looming over you when you are trying to maneuver bonding and doctor's appointments, it could become to much to handle.  Financial matters are the number one contributor to divorce in America, and I can't imagine what that on top of trying to build a new family dynamic could do, especially if a child has a lot of needs that weren't planned for. 

Pray and breathe

I was hoping that my fundraising effort so far would have been more productive.  I spent 21 hours (meaning time I could have been sleeping), working on the auction that yielded no results.  I spent 15 hours crocheting things that did not sell.  There is a magic formula to selling things, I'm not sure I know what that is.  However, instead of letting it bum me out, I'm taking those things that didn't sell, and I'm donating them to Glory's orphanage.  I'm going to continue to pray, and I'm going to breathe.  I cannot change the way things are happening.  We are going to be travelling a lot sooner than planned, Glory's needs are more sever than planned, and I'm not sure if I'll be able to get a grant.  I'm going to pray and breathe.  When you have plan, even if things don't go accordingly, it's still easier to weather the unplanned...if that makes sense.

Get a job and have a backup plan

If you don't have children, consider a second job.  My sister is a waitress while she attends college, and let me tell you, if I didn't have a  bunch of kids, I do that to raise the money needed.  She makes very good tips, and I can imagine if you had a second job, that money could add up to a fully funded adoption in just a year. 

Also, have a back up plan.  You may get every donor out there to help you along, and that is fantastic!  It might not happen though.  Make sure you have a back up plan.  We have one.  It's oh so NOT my desired choice, but if push comes to shove, it's there.  It's there, and we know that if we have to, we can use it in order to keep our adoption on track.  It can be devastating to put all of your eggs into one basket, and then get to travel time, only to be completely tapped out, not being able to continue.  A true heartbreak to all involved.  So whatever you can do as a back up, plan it, write it down, keep it tucked away for "incase of" times.

Obviously all of these things are for people who aren't in the middle of an adoption, and they do require some patience and discipline.  I know myself, I want to adopt them all and right now.  However, I've come to realize over the years that it's best to have a calm and praying spirit instead of a rash and impulsive one.  Calm and praying allows us to weather the uncertainties and be okay if we aren't supported financially by those we reach out to.  Rash and impulsive would have had me freaking out and disheartened.  Be the calm and prayerful one, and glean the awesomeness of self discipline learned while planning for an adoption.  I know with our first one, I was able to learn how to really save and give up so many things.  It was one of the best lessons I learned in life, because giving a child a family is a motivator to get yourself in gear like no other.

Auction and Give-a-way!!!!

 

For the past couple of weeks, I have been very busy, cutting and sewing these adorable skirts.  I have them in varied sizes, prints, and ready for auction.  Click Here (AUCTION)

 

The auction begins today and will end on Sunday 5/31/2015 at 8pm EST.

 

Definitely go check them out, hopefully you find one you love, but if you are on the fence....I have a give-a-way. 

 

I am offering one Boutique Apron Skirt and Matching Doll Skirt (18 inch doll) in your choice of size (0-8 girls) and my choice of print.  I have cute prints, don't worry. 

 

How do you enter the give-a-way?

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

Grab This!

<div align="center"><a href="http://reecesrainbow.org/91403/sponsorknapp" title=""><img width="100%" src="http://i1215.photobucket.com/albums/cc502/ReecesRainbow/fspknapp.png" style="border:none;" /></a></div><div align="center"><a href="http://dailybeginagains.blogspot.com/" title="">Grab This!</a></div>

 

It's as easy as that!  Thank you all so much for your support, I hope you find something you love!

 

Disclaimer:  I strive to do my best on everything I make.  The seams are all serger finished for a nice professional look, but I do not deal in perfection.  I deal in making everything with care and love.

 

500,000 US Kids

I write a lot about helping the orphans, advocating for adoption, and for kids being trafficked.  This is not the only thing that weighs heavy on my heart though.  There are over 500,000 kids in the US foster care system on any given day. 

Can you absorb that number and put faces to it? 

So many faces, faces of all shapes, sizes, color......

For many of these children, they have been placed into care abruptly and without any belongings.  When we were foster parents, our very first placement came to us with one plastic walmart sack and a few odd bits of clothes.  Nothing else.  They were a sibling group, and I remember the little one not having a special teddy bear, they didn't have their favorite shirt, nothing but a plastic sack of weather inappropriate clothes. 

Do you feel the urge to help those who are fatherless?  Even temporarily fatherless, but you feel called to help the ones local to where you live? 

There is something you can do! Something that could help preserve the dignity of a child, help make transition just a bit easier, help provide a bit of comfort.  Foster care agencies are always in need of backpacks/duffel bags/small suitcases filled with necessities.  It is quite common for kids to be moved in a rush, and often times, they do not get or have much to take with them.  They are dropped off into a foster parent's care at any hour of day or night, with not much to use up front. 

What you can do:

Materials
*All items must be new. Make 6-8 duffel bags per participant (or whatever you can do).

• Duffel bag
• Towel, washcloth
• Toothpaste, toothbrush
• Shampoo and soap
• Deodorant for pre-teens and teens
• Hairbrush, comb, hair ties for girls
• Fleece blanket
• Pencils, pens, markers
• Journals or notebooks
• Flashlight and batteries
• Small toy or NEW stuffed animal
• Hats , mittens or scarves
• Homemade label with gender and age

Drop them off to your local child protective services, they will most definitely be well received. 

For a lot of orphans, it is "normal" to be in an orphanage or to be an orphan (unfortunately), but for the kids in foster care, they often know their parents and that they supposed to be in the care of their mom and dad.  It's a tough change to be placed into a strangers home, I'm sure that having something of their own (even if it's new) would be helpful. 

Turning 11

 

Tomorrow Anna will celebrate her birthday for the fifth time.  However, she will be turning 11.  She is very small for eleven, and very much a different girl from when we celebrated her sixth birthday. 

 

 

When we celebrated her sixth birthday, she had only been on American soil for four days.  She was unsure of her new surroundings.  She was lost in her own little world, with her own shadow, and unable to do so much. 

 

She is not that girl any more.  She is a big sister who can run around playing with her siblings.  She is intelligent.  She is interactive, cheerful (most of the time), and a joy to be around.  The kids who are pictured in orphanages are often overlooked for their "lost" appearance, but given time in a new home, so many of them bloom into the most beautiful people.  Anna is one of those people.

 

 

Racism Addressed

I've been sent messages accusing me of being racist.  So, I thought I would address this issue and it's absurdity.  There is no secret that I do not support our current president's politics, and that I do try to bring to light the forgotten poverty stricken people who live in Appalachia.  Hey, I do not support many of the politicians in Washington though, as I do not feel that many of them really represent the people any more.  It's not a color thing, it's a human being thing.  I don't think they really care about human beings.

 

I can NOT agree with our president, and also NOT be a racist.  It seems like a radical thought, but it is a very real possibility.

 

I'm not sure how people come to the conclusion that someone is a racist when they have never met them.  To me, you are a person created by God, and God does not see the level of pigment in your skin.  I can appreciate all cultures that may include a group of people with common skin tones, but I also appreciate the culture of people with Down syndrome, CP, Hydrocephalus, etc. 

 

Being accused of racism is something that infuriates me.  It is a hate filled word, not to be taken lightly, and especially touches my heart, because I have friends of all cultures and colors.  The actual definition means to commit violence against people because of their race, or to believe that one race is better than another. This sickens me.  It sickens me particularly because one of my best friends is not of my race.  She and I have been friends for over 20 years.

 

(our eight grade dance)

 

Before assumptions are made.  I am not writing this to say, "oh I have a token black friend," no I'm writing this to say that you accusers need to be wary of your accusations.  I'm writing this, because my friend here, is like my sister....in fact she's been dating my brother-in-law for years.  So really, we might as well be sisters.

 

 

(us in high school)

 

I am addressing this, because I would give this friend my kidney.  She is a person, and believe it or not, it is possible to see people beyond their skin (while still appreciating and respecting their heritage). 

 

 

(pregnant with kid #1)

 

I feel like to accuse someone of racism (VIOLENCE against another race) is such a harsh judgment that people do not understand the impact.  When you accuse me, you are trying to devalue my relationship and admiration for someone that I've cared about for the majority of my life.  You devalue t\he fact that we as human beings are capable of loving people who do not look the same as us.  You strip all progress made from the people who marched for civil rights, and only spur efforts to create a racial divide once more.

 

(pregnant with kid #5)

 

I do not write to say, "look at me I have a black friend and I can't possibly be racist."  I write this to say look, I love this person like a sister, and you are trying to devalue that relationship with your ignorant accusations.  I say, people like you are the problem.  People like you aren't trying to solve the racial tensions in our world, you are trying to stir the pot, make yourself feel important and self righteous.  This girl is a part of my family from childhood, and still as girlfriend to my husband's brother (we did say we'd marry brothers one day).  You do not get to devalue our relationship. 

 

(Glory)

 

This is going to be my daughter.  Not because of some trend, but because she is a little girl in our world who needs a mom and dad. 

 

You do not get to devalue my love for her with your ignorance.  I do not love the people in my life who's skin is different from mine, because of some self important ideas.  No, I appreciate their differences (as I appreciate those with special needs), but in the end I love their soul. 

 

If you cannot find it in yourself to see loving someone above and beyond how they are different from you, then you may need to evaluate your self and your thinking.  You need to evaluate yourself before making heinous accusations.

 

 

 

Mothering in the Mundane

 

Have you ever had the urge to open Pinterest in your browser, and search for a fun activity as a parent?  Only to open up something that catches your eye, see a blog full of activities from another mother, and then proceed to feel completely inept as a mom?

 

Yeah, I find that if I search through Pinterest, I am continually overwhelmed with the feeling that I should be doing more fun activities.  How do these moms plan these ideas, execute them, take excellent pictures, and all the while have a clean house in the background! It's amazing. 

 

I am not that mom.  I am not condemning that mom at all, but I'm not her.  I don't feel guilty about that.

 

While I am crafty, I love to sew, I love to do all kinds of things with the kids, we do not have these elaborate fun things every day.  The days that we do have them, my house is not pristine in the background.  It's just not in my abilities I suppose.

 

So, I began to wonder about the memories that stand out most to me.  Do kids really care if I fill them full of these planned and creative activities. Will that be their childhood memories.  What will stand out?

 

When I was little, we lived in this apartment.  My mom would sit at the kitchen table and color with me.  I loved to color, and I always thought hers were a work of art.  She would let me crawl into her bed, and read me the Bible.  It was a simple thing, but it stands out in my mind.  Oh and Candy Land, she would play Candy Land with me over and over again.  In the chaos of my childhood, I find those memories full of peace and love.

 

Is that what our kids want?  Peace filled memories, those moments full of love, and what would that entail? 

 

The mundane moments!  Mothering in the mundane is when your true self will come out.  I sat in the floor with my kids for an hour a few days ago, just rolling the ball.  The baby would sit in my lap, and we would roll it to one of the bigger kids.  They had a blast chasing it.  We counted and practiced talking (because all play is learning right), and just rolled a ball. 

 

In the evenings, I pull out books, and I read to the kids.  I read to the kid who can read fairly anything himself.  We read everything.  It's time spent opening our minds to the worlds upon pages of excitement and adventure.  We take adventures together....will he remember? 

 

We have a big chest full of board games, and we have game time.  Anna is the uno champion, she never lets anyone else win.  I don't know how she does it. 

 

I watch them play outside, and they bring me a million weeds (ahem flowers).  They show me their skills, we might play a game of baseball, or I might teach them to do cartwheels (yeah it's a wee bit more painful in my thirties than it was as a kid). 

 

We sit at the table and eat with our kids.  I cook for them, and they watch or help.  We clean together, care for the animals together, and they get my time. 

 

I think the mundane moments are the moments most full of time well spent.  I believe that when you are just being, you are making the most powerful memories.  We live a legacy for our kids, I'm not very good at daily pinterest awesomeness.  I am good at giving time, at making the moments count.  I hope that my mothering and your mothering in the mundane moments are received by our kids as the moments my mom was...a mom!

 

What do you remember about your mom as a child?  I bet it wasn't daily inadequacy due to her not providing you endless creative activities to fill your day.  I bet it was her mom-ness.

 

 

Facing the Uknown

 

When we first heard about Glory, we were told she had hydrocephalus and global developmental delay.  This was something that "appeared" to be obvious.  We have put a lot of time into researching hydrocephalus and all that it entails.  She was expected to need shunt surgery, and we signed on to assume that cost.

 

It has been determined that she does NOT have hydrocephalus.  Celebration right?....

 

Not so much.

 

What she has now is a chronic brain bleed and brain shrinkage as a result of the pressure and hemorrhage.  So, we have to prepare for the many unknowns.  These types of brain bleeds are common in elderly people, but quite rare in small children.  The most common reason for this type of bleed is shaken baby syndrome.  However, there is a metabolic disorder that can cause it as well.

 

We do not know if she has the metabolic disorder.

 

Here is what we know....She's our Glory and we love her.  When I say that, I don't mean I've fallen in love and going to "try" to make this work.  NO, I mean every single person in this house has come to love this little girl across the world.  We have celebrated the progress she has made through pictures each week, we pray for her, and Grace talks all day long about how happy she is that Glory will be here soon.

 

We know that her case is sever enough that the adoption agency is trying to expedite her adoption.  Our home study will be complete tomorrow, and our dossier is complete minus the state seals and USCIS forms.  On that note, USCIS has told the agency to collect all medical information they can about her, we then have to have a doctor write a letter about the severity of her diagnosis.

 

We know that if it is the metabolic disorder, we are facing quite a different life.  She could have severe developmental delays, could have difficulty speaking and may need an AAC device, her muscle tone may be low and she could need a wheel chair, and she would need a strict vegetarian diet.  She will need surgery to relieve the pressure and repair the hemorrhage.  

 

Metabolic disorder or not, she will likely need a craniectomy.  She could have seizures, vision loss, cerebral palsy, ADD/ADHD, emotional disorders,  and immune function issues.

 

It is an unknown situation.  It is possible that with early therapies, surgery, and diet, she could lead a fairly typical adult life one day. 

 

What do you do in this situation? 

 

We pray.  We weigh the possibilities of her condition against our current life and how it could impact the children and family dynamic we currently have.  We research the heck out of it, and consult neurology, family doctors, metabolic doctors, and the international adoption doctor. 

 

We make a decision, and not lightly nor blindly.

 

Life could be severely impacted by Glory's needs.  She could need care that we are unaccustomed to, even with two kids with Down syndrome.  It's going to be demanding, stressful at times, and scary.  It will require us to step even further out of our comfort zone, to rely fully on God, and to answer to those people who are negative about adopting a child that isn't "perfect." 

 

 

Will our kids be impacted?  Yes.  Will it be for the worse?  I hope not.  I hope that our children learn to love as Jesus loves us.  I hope our kids learn that people who require more effort on our part, are worthy of our compassion and respect.  I hope our children learn to be less selfish, not value things of this world, and instead lead a life of service to others. 

 

Service to ourselves does not lead us down the right path.  There is nothing to be gained by fleshly living.  If there were, then the wealthy and the self absorbed people of the world wouldn't be constantly trying to buy more, make more money, prove themselves the be the best/hottest/thinnest/most athletic, etc. 

 

When we die, we will not be remembered for the money we had, our youthful looks, how much we could exercise, etc.  No, we will either be remembered as a good and faithful person, or a lover of ourselves.  The latter has no legacy. 

Dating..of the "up" kind

Well folks we are in our busiest time of year, it's summer time around here, even though summer hasn't technically begun.  The grass is growing faster than we can keep up with, it does this every year, I'm kind of threatening it right now as I can visibly see it growing by the second...not fair I tell ya.

The goats need us.  It's quite a bit more chaos this year, we doubled our herd since Sierra had twins.  Lily and Meat are growing...yes there will be pictures.  Blizzard has become an addict, and we've put her in rehab.  Poor thing, she refuses to wean, just refuses, so now she's been separated.  Every time we let her loose, she runs over to try and nurse, and it's all, "come on ya big teenager goat, you're almost as big as your mom, give it up!"

I registered Andy for summer camp this year.  It cost me ten dollars for a week of over night camp...win!  Being the biggest kid, he's kind of singled out here.  Anna and Tanner have not only each other, but they function at the same level as Grace, so the two babies and them are besties.  It will be good for Andy to have a little time away.

The kids are having a blast at Cowboy Up for Christ.  I am having a blast as well.  I know that no one wanted to volunteer to run the fishing program, but we are loving it.  I feel like we are winners (touching worms aside), because we get to chat it up with the kids every week.  They are awesome...especially when we played the "how old is John" game :)  None of them can believe that Anna is going to be 11 soon, but I've tried to convince them that it's true.

So, five kids, six goats, 22 hens, 11 acres to upkeep...oh yeah! It's gardening time.  That is the time of year when we attempt to grow this big garden full of awesomeness, but seemingly fail at one or two (ahem...or all) vegetables. John planted three peach trees, two pear trees, three more apple trees, an apricot tree, and a plum tree this year as well.  The strawberries are looking promising, I think I could survive off of strawberries alone, you know...if they were in season all year at my house, because if I had to buy them at the grocery I wouldn't be able to afford them.

On the adoption front, we have had news of Glory's diagnosis.  She was originally said to have hydrocephalus, but we have learned that she has a chronic brain bleed and cerebral atrophy.  This is a much more severe diagnosis, and the agency is attempting to expedite the case.  I'll do a separate post on that tomorrow.

I do love this season.  The birds chirping, windows open....KIDS OUTSIDE!!!!!

I'm sorry can you see my excitement! I love kids being outside, we go out for hours each day, and while some of them (and myself) love it, some are still trying to get used to it....five years later.

Online Dating and Adoption

I'm going to be completely honest with you guys, I used to be a little creeped out by online dating.  It was strange to think that a person could meet their spouse online, without ever meeting and fall in love, via a computer!  How is that even possible?  Could you truly and really love someone you had never physically laid a finger to?

 

I know how it is possible now though.

 

You see, I have fallen in love online.....

 

Now wait ya'll, I am not implicating that I'm leaving my amazing best friend/handsome hubby/soul mate  and scooping up some fresh piece of male meat off of the internet...no, definitely not!

 

 

I have fallen in love, a tender, wonderful, mother heart kind of love with this little girl.  Her pictures are changing each week, she is growing through our screen on Friday afternoons.  We are seeing those little infant features, that follow a baby into toddlerhood disappear, with what always happens at this age, when the preschool sized little human presents itself.  She is drifting into a new age and time of life, without me. 

 

Together, our little nuclear family (plus my two sisters who rock socks) have been cheering through the progress we have seen of weekly photos.  Glory has made leaps and bounds of progress, without me.  She is facing a major surgery, and I am pained to think of her not having me there.  I am fearful for the high statistics of infection rate, I just long to wrap my arms around her, and have her safe here.  She needs a mom and dad.  I feel like I am her mom, and there is this uncertainty looming over our heads of when we will get to be together.  I know we will though, and I know that it will be all but a memory once we are, this looming anticipation and anxiety over the wait. 

 

And then I feel sadness.  Where is her birth mom?  Did she die, was she sick and could not care for Glory, did her special needs present more than they could afford?  All of that breaks my heart.  For I love her birth mom as well....someone I've never met, never seen a picture of, and probably will never be in the presence of.

 

How do you explain to someone who has never been in this situation, just how much you can love a person whom you have never met? 

I suppose I'll just tell them it's kind of like online dating ;) oh or maybe facebook friendships.......

 

 

 

 

Dear Mother in Baltimore

I have seen you go viral over the last twenty-four hours.  There are a great number of people singing your praises, and there are a great number of people condemning you. 

You saw your son, a 16 year old man sized person, standing in a group of others, assaulting police officers.  The tensions were high, the danger was massive, and you were scared and outraged. 

I am sure that seeing your son in the midst of that crowd was very surprising to you.  It could not have been easy seeing your adult sized offspring acting violently towards an officer of the law.  I imagine that with all of the violence occurring around your son, it must have been so frightening, and I can imagine frantically thanking the Lord that he was not harmed.

Your actions towards your son spoke of a frightened and overwhelmed mother.  Some criticize those actions.....However, I commend you for taking action.  Instead of encouraging your son to act violently towards the men and women out there trying to uphold the law and protect us, you took action.  Instead of being an absent parent, ignoring your son, you stepped up to stop him in his tracks.  Instead of being one of the "parents" out there hooked on drugs instead of being involved in their kids' lives, you found your son, and rescued him.

The people out there saying that your actions were not the answer do not give an answer as to what exactly you should have done that would have been effective.  Should you have casually walked up to your son, had a lengthy discussion as to why his actions were dangerous, and then calmly asked him to leave?  Amidst such violent chaos? I don't suppose that would have been received well.

Should you have let your son continue his violence towards police, and then waited until he came home (if he came home and didn't get killed in action), to address his misbehavior out of the public eye?

I'm not sure what those nay-sayers would deem an appropriate response, but I can say this.  In a day when children have been taught to be self absorbed, to not be punished when they commit crimes, and in a world where people are flocking to terrorist organizations.....I say thank you.  Thank you for stepping in and keeping your son from becoming a statistic, a prisoner, a young victim of the violence. 

We have people who jump at the chance, any chance to destroy others' property and steal from local businesses.    We have teenagers who think it's great to pour urine all over special needs class mates.  We have a generation of young people who lack respect for authority.

So, were your actions mother-of-the-year actions....no, but hey, I'm no mother of the year myself.  Were your actions just that...ACTION...


YES!

You took action to get your son out of that situation.  Who are we to say that you could have approached it any other way? 

I say thank you for being an active parent.